The Inevitability of Anger
by angel85qcca
Summary: Johnny and Kristina learn that a bond made in adversity is not easily broken. Will their connection hold even when the anger is gone?
1. Chapter 1

**A.N.: Yes, I know. I promised I would finish In Repair before starting anything else, but I can't help myself. It's hard being an NJ fan these days, so, you know, I have to torture myself with more impossible pairings. Let me know what you think by pressing that little button at the bottom! Oh, and thanks to my GH beta, thedarkangel22, for reading through this and spotting all the mistakes I didn't know were there. Thanks!**

* * *

><p><em>All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long. <em>- Wilson Mizner

"Just follow my lead. Play along," Kristina whispered to Johnny as she grabbed his hand.

Instantly, her eyes went to her father's face and she could see how much it bothered him to see them together. She could barely register the words they were saying, and they sounded like they were coming from someone else. It was like an out-of-body experience, instead of standing next to Johnny it was like she stood six feet away looking at him, Sonny and herself. But even though it didn't feel like she was there, she must still have been saying all the right things because her father looked _pissed_. She wondered for a second how he had managed to be such a successful crime boss if his every emotion was on display for the world to see. Then she remembered Jason, the Borg, and she marvelled at the balance between her father and his business partner. Jason was everything her father wasn't, and vice versa.

Johnny put his arm around her and it brought her back to the present. She felt a tinge of surprise when Johnny said that 17 was the legal age of consent in the state of New York, but then remembered that she had read the same thing somewhere. She had to admit she was surprised at how great Johnny was acting. He was doing and saying all the right things to make her father angry, and if they had planned the scene out, it couldn't have been better. It was like his reluctance had completely vanished and she was once again proud of herself for coming up with this plan.

"This isn't over," Sonny said as he walked away. She saw him take his phone out of his pocket and then Johnny and she separated.

"Did you see that?" Kristina said with a huge smile.

"Yeah, he was pretty angry."

"No, not him, me! When you put your arm around me, I didn't even flinch!"

Johnny shook his head and smiled. "Well, I guess we killed two birds with one stone, then."

Kristina laughed, truly happy for the first time in forever. "This was perfect. Thank you for playing along."

"I still don't know if this is right," Johnny started after a few seconds of pondering, "and I still feel like I'm taking advantage of you. But it's your life and I won't make decisions for you."

Kristina closed her eyes, grateful. "Thank you; you have no idea how nice it is to hear that." She gave him a smile and walked slowly toward him, wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing her body to his in a hug. He was so tall and strong that he should have scared her away, but as he hugged her back she realized she had never felt safer. She had never seen Johnny lose his temper and she knew he had no sexual feelings for her. There were no reasons to fear him.

"I have to go face the wrath of my family now," Kristina continued after she pulled away from Johnny. "This was fun, we should do it again sometime."

* * *

><p>Kristina was amazed at how many people were butting in on her and Johnny's pretend relationship. Her mom and dad had decided to ground her and confiscate her car and her credit card, Sam was hypocritical enough to tell her that dating a guy from the mob was a dangerous thing to do, Ethan was convinced someone was going to get killed, Molly of course found the whole thing romantic, and Olivia ended up breaking up with Johnny. Kristina could tell that it was hard on him, but he was mostly hurt that she hadn't even given him the benefit of the doubt.<p>

Even though in private Johnny continued to doubt their plan, when they were around other people he still acted as though they were dating and defended their relationship to everyone who accused him of using her. He had to admit though, it was starting to get to him. Everyone was handling it wrong because if he really had been in love with Kristina it would have only made him want to keep seeing her even more. She had been through a lot more than some people go through in a lifetime yet everyone still treated her like she was a child.

Johnny was brought out of his reverie by a knock on the door. He wasn't surprised to find Kristina on the other side, even though they weren't supposed to see each other that day.

"I won't stay long," she started as she walked in, "but I'm about to be thrown to the wolves and I thought I'd come here to gather up some courage."

Johnny shook his head at her dramatic flair. "What are you talking about?"

Kristina sat down on the couch and Johnny brought her a bottle of water like he always did whenever she showed up at his place. "Mom has decided to put together a family dinner. So I'm going to have to sit at the dinner table for two hours and listen to my father and everyone else tell me in a condescending manner that dating you is dangerous."

"I'm sorry," Johnny said with a smile. He was amused at the picture forming in his head of the dysfunctional family sitting down to have a meal together. Kristina leaned back on the couch, suddenly looking weary and Johnny felt bad for making light of her problems. He had tried to have sit-down dinners with his father and Claudia enough times in his life to know how painful they could be.

"You know," Kristina said in a pensive voice, "I really wish I could put all my anger for my dad away in a little box and forget about it and move on. But every time I think about him it all boils to the surface and I can't help it, it all comes out."

"Maybe you just need to give it time," Johnny said softly.

"Since you're so much older than me," she said in a teasing tone with a small smile on her lips, her eyes twinkling, "you can tell me, does it every go away?"

Johnny had to admit defeat. "No, at least for me it hasn't. I'm still angry at my father and I probably always will be. Some things you just can't repair. It doesn't mean it's too late for your relationship with Sonny. My dad's crazy, but maybe if you keep trying you'll be able to reason with your dad."

Kristina shook her head. "No, I don't think so. It's not even about reason; we just have two completely different sets of values."

He couldn't think of anything to answer to that so he let the silence speak for him for a while.

Eventually, Kristina sighed her got up, picking up her bag. "I should get going," she declared reluctantly.

Johnny walked over to the door, grabbing his keys. "I have to head out too, I'll drive you back," he offered.

They walked out to the elevator. "You know," Johnny said as they got in, "I'm surprised you didn't ask me to go to dinner with you."

Kristina laughed. "I have to admit, I did think about it, but you don't need to be there for my dad to be upset. Plus, I would never subject you to a family dinner like that, even if we were dating for real."

Johnny smiled. It was so easy being with Kristina sometimes that if it weren't for her age he knew he would date her without a single thought to who her father was. "Maybe what you need is to keep the conversation to a neutral subject. If you make endless small talk maybe it won't be so bad."

They walked out of the elevator and into the underground garage. As they approached his car Johnny put an arm around Kristina, hugging her to his side, hoping to give her some of the courage she had come to him for.

Kristina stopped walking as they arrived to the car and turned to look at Johnny. "Thanks. You're a good friend."

Johnny smiled at her and clicked on the remote button to open the doors.

And that's when everything blew up.


	2. Chapter 2

**A.N.: Big thanks to my beta, thedarkangel22, for all her hard work!**

* * *

><p>Johnny was relieved when the nurse finally told him he could go. His ears were still ringing but there was no permanent damage done to his eardrums and the burns on his arm were only first and second degree. No one had wanted to inform him of Kristina's condition so he headed to the nurse's desk to find out where she was. Unfortunately for him, her whole family, sans Sonny, was in the waiting room and they were all too happy to take their fear and anger out on him.<p>

"You have no right to be here, no right! She could have been killed because she's dating you!" Alexis yelled as she slapped Johnny.

Thankfully Dr. Weber came back and interrupted the altercation. "People! This is a hospital, please have a little respect. If you're going to fight, do it outside," he scolded.

"We're sorry," Alexis amended. "How's Kristina?"

Dr. Weber looked at his chart. "She has a slight concussion, and some second degree burns on her arms from where she shielded herself from the blast. There was a lot of shrapnel imbedded in her wounds but we managed to remove everything. We're going to keep her overnight but she should be able to go home in the morning."

Everyone sighed in relief. Johnny quickly took out his phone and texted someone while Alexis asked to see Kristina.

"I'm sorry," Dr. Weber answered, contrived, "but she doesn't want to see any of you right now. And since she needs to rest, we all need to abide by her wishes. The only person she asked to see was Mr. Zacchara."

Johnny was surprised but relieved that he'd be able to see with his own two eyes that she was okay. Alexis glared at him as he made his way past her to follow Dr. Weber to Kristina's room. The doctor pointed to her room before leaving to check on his other patients. Through the small window in the door Johnny could see her lying on the bed, her eyes closed. She was dressed in a hospital gown and there were thick bandages on her forearms.

Johnny took a deep shaky breath before opening the door. Kristina's eyes opened immediately and a smile sketched on her face.

"Come in," she said as she sat up.

Johnny grabbed the chair next to the bedside table before changing his mind and sitting on the bed next to her. "How are you doing?" he asked in a soft voice.

"I'm still a little out of it, but the doctor says I'm going to be fine. What about you, are you alright?"

Johnny looked away. "I'm fine; your body shielded me from the blast. You never should have been with me."

Kristina ignored his last sentence. "Did you see everyone in the waiting room? Did my dad yell at you?"

"No, but your mother did. Your dad was held back at the scene, but he should be here with the others by now."

"What do you mean, held at the scene? Why didn't he just go straight to the hospital?" Kristina asked, confused.

"You don't remember? He was there when the bomb exploded."

Kristina's eyes hardened. "He was there? So he did it, he put that bomb in your car?"

Johnny shook his head. "We don't know that for sure. I have some people asking around, but you know Sonny isn't my only enemy."

"He's the one with the clearest motive, though." Kristina started fidgeting in her bed, agitated.

"We don't know for sure, okay? You should rest," Johnny said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear in an affectionate, soothing gesture.

At that moment Epiphany walked in. "Mr. Zacchara's right, Miss Davis, you need to rest. And I've got the good drugs," she said as she showed them a syringe. She injected the drugs into Kristina's IV, checked her vitals, then left.

"I'm sorry I almost got you killed," Kristina said, already getting drowsy.

"I'm the adult; I'm the one who should have said no adamantly. You wouldn't be here if I had."

"Let's not talk about that right now." Kristina lied back down and settled in to get some rest. Johnny rose but one of her hands shot to his wrist. "Please stay for a bit, you'll keep the hordes away. Tomorrow we can be broken up, but I need you to be my boyfriend for a few more hours. Please?"

He couldn't resist her pleading eyes. "Of course. You rest, I'll be here," Johnny said as he sat down on the chair to watch her sleep.

An hour later, Dr. Weber walked in to check on her. He woke Kristina to make sure she was fine and then she went right back to sleep.

"It's getting late," Dr. Weber told Johnny, "you should go. Visiting hours have been over for a while now."

Johnny sighed and got up. He couldn't deny that the idea of his own bed was enticing. "Is everyone else still here?"

"Only Sam," the doctor answered. "If you take the stairs, go up one floor and then take the elevator to the garage you can avoid her."

Johnny laughed at the intricate escape and followed the doctor out of Kristina's room. "I guess you've done that a few times, huh?"

"No comment," Dr. Weber answered with a smile.

* * *

><p>Johnny woke up early the next morning and tossed and turned for a half-hour before giving up and heading downstairs for coffee. Truth was, he was surprised he had slept at all. The previous night's events kept playing on a loop in his head, and every time he would get caught up to the present he would start evaluating his choices for the future.<p>

He had only had his first sip of coffee when there was a knock on his door.

He considered not answering, thinking it might be the PCPD with more questions when he heard Ethan's voice through the door. "Open up, Mate, it's me!"

Johnny quickly opened the door and Ethan breezed in, walking straight to the coffee pot and pouring himself a cup.

"I've been up all night for you; the least you can do is let me have some coffee," Ethan declared.

"Yeah, fine, fine, just tell me what you found," Johnny said, walking to the window to look out over the city in the morning light. It was one of his favourite things about the penthouse.

"The Lopez brothers swear it's not them, that between you and Sonny they'd get rid of Sonny first. The police don't have anything more; they're waiting until they can reconstruct the bomb to see if they can find some clues that way."

"But they won't find anything," Johnny said, ever the pessimist.

"Probably not. Did you know that Sonny's first wife died because of a car bomb meant for him? Luke told me last night."

Johnny nodded. "Yeah, I heard. But all the evidence points to him."

"Circumstantial evidence," Ethan pointed out.

Both men sat down on the couch, Johnny looking at his coffee and Ethan looking at his friend. "What are you going to do?" Ethan asked.

"Nothing," Johnny said. "I don't have proof. And if I go after Sonny right now, Kristina will think that her own father definitely tried to kill her, and I don't know if she'd ever get over that."

Ethan shook his head. "I'm not going to tell her, but I'm sure as hell going to tell you: I told you so. I knew someone would get hurt, and that it probably would end up being Kristina."

"Yeah, well, it's over now; we're done. And it was all for nothing, too."

Ethan quickly left, promising to keep an ear to the ground. Johnny stayed on the couch for a long time, sipping cold coffee but not really noticing. His anger for Sonny had intensified overnight, if that was even possible, but he found that there was nothing he could do about it. He meant what he had told Ethan: unless there was undeniable proof that Sonny put that bomb under his car, there was really nothing he could do. And if there was proof, then it would be better to let the justice system do its job and send Sonny to prison. Johnny had no desire to end up in a cell for murdering his enemy. It simply wasn't worth it to him to spend his life incarcerated for revenge; he wasn't his father.

He waited all day for Kristina to call him and tell him that she changed her mind about ending their pseudo relationship, but she didn't. He waited for Alexis to drop by and yell at him some more, but she didn't. Hell, he even waited for Sonny to show up and wave a gun in his face, but he was left alone all day, and the day after that, and for the rest of the week.

He had decided to forget about the whole thing and move on when Alexis showed up on his doorstep.


	3. Chapter 3

**A.N.: I'm back! Is is a coincidence that my inspiration came back just as Kristina is back on our screens? I think not! Hope you enjoy this one, let me know!**

* * *

><p>A week later, Johnny had his hands full trying to prove to his people that he wasn't weak even though he hadn't retaliated when Sonny put a bomb under his car and almost blew him up.<p>

In his father's organization, the employees weren't used to adhering to any kind of code. Johnny wanted to change that and teach them children and women were not to be hurt or manhandled in any way. He wanted to promote peace instead of war, at least until war became inevitable. His anger with Sonny was only directed at him personally and not necessarily at his organization. He knew the easiest way to get to Sonny was through his business but that meant too many people could get hurt or killed and in the end Sonny would only suffer minimal loss. The whole ordeal with Kristina had at least taught him that.

Trying to change his people's mentality was proving to be difficult but Johnny wasn't ready to give up yet. He wanted them to respect him, not fear him like they did his father. He knew they were less likely to turn on him if he listened to them and made them feel like he valued their insight. In that regard, he had instilled a policy that said that any one in his organization who wanted to talk to him only needed to make an appointment. It was a security nightmare, of course, and kept him very busy on a good day but so far no one had abused his trust and he thought his employees were responding favourably.

Johnny had no appointments that morning and was looking forward to looking at his accounting books quietly. He sighed when someone knocked at the door. His eyes widened in surprise when he realized who was standing on the other side.

"Alexis, come in," he said as he opened the door wide.

Alexis walked in briskly and walked to the fireplace. Johnny offered her something to drink and to sit down but she refused.

"I don't normally like to ask favours, especially from mobsters, but I don't know what else to do," Alexis stated.

Johnny was curious. "What kind of favour?"

"It's about Kristina."

Johnny tried to contain his shock and disbelief. Alexis had been the most vocal, after Sonny of course, that Kristina and he shouldn't have been dating.

Alexis continued. "She's depressed. She won't get out of the house and she hasn't been in a car except for when I took her home from the hospital. Sonny brings her take out from Kelly's everyday for lunch but she won't see him; she just hides out in her room until he's gone." She takes a deep breath. "Even Ethan won't cheer her up. I don't know what to do. I'm starting to think she was really in love with you, but that couldn't be, right?"

Johnny shook his head. "No, of course not!"

"Tomorrow Sonny said he wouldn't be able to come, that he has a meeting or something."

Johnny heard what she wasn't asking. "Sure, I'll drop by, but I don't know if I'll be much help."

"Well, thank you anyway," Alexis replied.

She left immediately after that and Johnny went back to his books. It wouldn't help to worry about Kristina until he had talked to her and figured out what she needed from him.

* * *

><p>Kristina heard the knock and sighed. Technically, her father had said he had a meeting and wouldn't be able to drop by for lunch like he did every day since she left the hospital but her mom and Molly had both left her alone and she wondered if it was a trap.<p>

She walked with heavy feet to the front door, promising herself that if it was her father bringing her lunch she would not let him in the house. She was happily surprised, however, to see Johnny with a takeout bag from a good Italian restaurant the next town over. "Hi, come in!" she said with a smile.

"I thought you could use a change from Kelly's burgers today," he said, smiling back.

Kristina rolled her eyes. "I don't know who asked you to come by, but I'm happy anyway. How have you been? Do your burns still hurt?"

Johnny shook his head as he put the bag on the dining room table. "It only hurt for a couple of days. What about you?"

"I'm fine," she answered quickly. "I'll get some plates and glasses and stuff." She walked quickly to the kitchen and returned a minute later.

Johnny had taken the food out of the bags and they helped themselves. He didn't really know what to say to her and he didn't want to pry so he made chit chat while they ate. As soon as they were done, though, he didn't even let her clean before he brought her over to the living room and sat her down on the couch.

"Rumour has it you're not doing so well," Johnny started. "I don't think anyone expects you to act like everything's fine after what happened, but your family seems really worried."

"There's just so much going on in my head, you know? I keep reliving the explosion over and over again."

"I know, Kristina. I do, too."

"Really?" she asked, surprised.

"Of course! It was terrible. I keep thinking that maybe if I'd have reacted faster, or if I'd turned you down on your offer to pretend we were dating, or... I don't know. In the end, though, it did happen and the only thing we can do is learn and move on."

"What did you learn?" she asked.

"When you play with fire, you get burned. This time, quite literally."

She laughed but got serious again quickly. "I wish there was a way to know whether my dad really put that bomb there."

Johnny took a deep breath. "Unless he admits it to you, and I doubt he would, then we'll never really know. The police haven't come up with any new evidence. I've asked around and I don't have any definite answers. What does your gut say?"

"That he did it. It's the only way to explain the guilt on his face and the fact that he keeps coming over even though I refuse to see him."

Johnny leaned back on the couch and wiped a hand down his face.

"Are you going to retaliate?" Kristina asked.

Johnny didn't like discussing business with her but this concerned her and he thought she was mature enough to handle it. "No. At least, not now. I need to concentrate on my business and forget about Sonny for a while. He makes me lose my head and we saw how that turned out."

"Revenge is a dish best served cold and all that, right?"

Johnny shrugged. "Maybe one day the opportunity will come to hurt Sonny without affecting anyone else. But this isn't about me, Kristina, it's about you. What are you doing to deal with the fallout?"

She looked down at her hands. "So far, I'm ignoring him and everyone. I'm glad it's summer and I don't have to deal with everyone at school. I wish I could have a real talk with dad, but every time he opens his mouth all I can hear is lies." She was starting to get angry. "I mean, what kind of person puts bombs under other people's cars? It takes a psychopath to plan another person's death that closely."

Johnny took a deep breath. "That's just how it is in this business, you know that. Sometimes it's kill or be killed."

"Not this time, though! If he hadn't put that bomb there, then I wouldn't have gotten hurt. He couldn't have set you up with drugs or something less violent?"

Johnny stood up. "I don't have any answers for you, Kristina. My dad was that way too: when he got rid of people it was always permanently. But the difference between our fathers is that your father loves you."

Kristina sat back against the couch, defeated. "Not in the way I want him to; not in a respectful way. He only loves me if he can control me. You could say he's no different than Kiefer. I don't get it, Johnny, you hate my dad as much as I do, and it feels like you're trying to convince me to forgive him."

Johnny shrugged. "You just don't seem happy hating him. Maybe forgiving him would set you free."

She opened her mouth to speak but couldn't find anything to answer to that. Could he be right? It would definitely make it easier to forgive him if she thought it was for her, but it would still let him off the hook.

Johnny looked at his watch. "I should go."

Kristina nodded and gave him a hug goodbye, soaking up those few moments of feeling safe in his arms. As she cleaned up, she continued thinking about what Johnny had said. She didn't know if she was ready to forgive her father, but she decided that she couldn't let her hatred for him ruin her life.

She put her shoes on and went for a walk around the lake. It wasn't much, but it was a start.


End file.
